Bitter, Angry, and just a bit Pissed off…

So today is Friday, I’m home from work, thrilled, really…but the one part needed to make the motorcycle run, is missing.  Yes, hasn’t arrived, is still somewhere between Sweden and here…awesome…and I kind of just want to curl up in a ball and cry, or kill something…the jury is still out at this point.

I’m just extremely frustrated with the whole situation, and the impotence of everything.  No matter what we have done, we’re still screwed until the stupid controls come in from Sweden, as you need controls to I don’t know, ride the bike…

Week 8, day 5 of my diet

Alright, so it’s official…either stress, or minor activity after getting home from work, or not going out to eat, or all of the above, is making me kick my diet’s A-S-S.  Jumped on the scale this morning, POSITIVE I’d see a gain since yesterday I didn’t actually DO physical labor…and I was down another pound.  More importantly, I was down to 169.6!!!  Yeah bitches, that’s right.  This girl is under 170!  Although it won’t be official unless I can keep this weight off til’ Monday at my weigh in…BUT That’s 3 pounds so far THIS WEEK.  I haven’t had a loss this big since I started…or rather, week 3.  So needless to say I’m feeling really good, but now I’m petrified of eating out this weekend because it could sabatoge my loss!  My goal was to get to 170 by Monday (was 172.6 this Monday) so then I’d be under that by the time I went up to the twin cities (that’s in Minnesota) for a Valley Fair day with some siblings.  If I keep this rate up, not literally, but relatively, I could possibly be down to 165 by next week Friday, GAH!!!!!!!!! panic run screaming can’t handle it!!! Just kidding, but I’d be good to go and definitely be under 170 I’d think, and plan on being good the whole time I’m up there.

My shakes are obviously helping, I’m having snacks before bed every night, still shakes or powdered drinks, no bars etc. and I’m cooking at home every night.  My suspicion is the cooking at home every night is seriously starting to add up and contribute to my loss.  That actually sucks because I’ve cooked 4 nights in a row this week and am sooooo done with it! LoL

Déjà vu

4:00AM…I wake up…My dog wants to go outside (small black dog)…I let him out, crawl back into bed, and then I hear it…”meeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww”…I wait a heartbeat…”cry”…I swear.

I now know how Bill Murray felt in Groundhog Day…except my groundhog is a bengal/siamese mix named Lance.

I won’t lie, I broke right away this morning; grabbed the cat as soon as I could find him, went to the living room with him, my blankie, two dogs and second cat trailing me, and curled up on the couch right away.  They all shut up and we went back to sleep by 4:30 at the latest.  I slept blissfully until 6:38…when Nero (small black dog) wanted out…I really need to break that freaking habit.

So my husband walks out bleary eyed and asks me why I am sleeping on the couch, yet again…imagine my embarrassment when I admit that it shuts up the animals…so if need be, we will be closing them out of our room at night…wouldn’t really take much to turn the second bedroom (currently nothing in it like 3 boxes of goodwill stuff) into a pet sanctuary where they stay, and we stay in our room…maybe that’ll be a weekend project for me … it’d sure make the master bedroom feel HUGE (which it is, but feels normal since there are 2 dog kennels and a therapeutic foam bed in there with us)… Great, now my brain is spinning about reorganizing a bedroom around dog kennels…