Excuses Excuses…

So today I am coming to terms with the fact that I am making excuses for not getting back onto my program.  I’m waiting for payday.  Then I’m waiting for when we get back from a trip.  Next thing I know I’m waiting for Thanksgiving to be over.  I know where this is leading.  This is leading to never getting back on track, and needing to find the will to push past my excuses.

I’m the queen of them, you see.  The queen of excuses.

But I’m feeling more like the frog princess, waiting for a kiss of reality to wake me up.  I am still fitting in size 10 and 12 jeans, size medium and large shirts, but the 10’s are getting tight, indicating that I’ve regained some weight.

So the question is this: What will it take this time for me to regain control over my weight?  I can’t lie, I don’t miss cooking dinner every night and needing to come up with something different all the time and dealing with dishes.  I didn’t mind the veggies that I ate during the day or at night, nor did I mind the shakes and the vitamins.  No, it’s the meat that I’m struggling with, how to prepare it 300 different ways so my husband doesn’t get tired of the same old thing.  Also, how do I start telling him “no” when it comes time to go to lunch?  If I can say No to lunch, then I can have my 2 shakes / day without a problem.

Life is all about the decisions we make, and while this excuse-making is stupid, I know I have to be accountable, so I’m putting it out there, for the whole world to see.  I suck.  I know it, and yes I want to do something about it.  The problem is that even at 170 I weigh 28 pounds less than when I started, and I’m only 10 pounds from my ideal weight range.  I cannot let this be an excuse however.

In the past, I’ve been able to justify regaining weight because “I know I can lose it again, it’s no big deal”.  Unfortunately, it IS a big deal, and I’ve yet to be able to beat that particular cycle.  I will beat that cycle, even if it takes all year.

I have 8 months roughly until my high school reunion.  I want to lose 20 pounds in 8 months.  I am debating if I want to lose those 20 pounds by using weight watchers, exercise and protein drinks, of if I truly want to go back to my IP style.

Food for thought…along with my Teddy Grahams…it’s going to be time for some tough love here soon.