All You’ll Ever Be is a Faded Memory of a Bully

“Did you really want to die?”
“No one commits suicide because they want to die.”
“Then why do they do it?”
“Because they want to stop the pain.”
― Tiffanie DeBartoloHow to Kill a Rock Star

Today I was going to post another blog about my dieting and how life has changed during my hiatus, but after seeing a newscast from this last week, I changed my mind to something that is, in my personal opinion, significantly more important; bullying and how it affects self-image and quality of life.

You may be wondering “How is Bullying related to weight loss?”  Well, if you’ve ever been, or have seen “The Fat Kid” at school, then you know exactly how much bullying can relate to weight loss.  Kids become bulimic, anorexic, depressed and worse all because of their weight and the perceptions (and extroverted opinions) of bullies.

The last week, a high school student took their own life by hanging themselves in their bedroom.  His name was Derrick, and he was 16 years old.  He didn’t leave a note, he wasn’t causing problems, but his mom was able to know the cause of his depression and suicide, he was a victim of bullying, because of his weight.

“Kids made fun of Kester’s weight and told him he was worthless.”

We are more than a number on a scale, and as adults, we can realize that.  However, as a teenager, dealing with social norms, bullying and a myriad of other issues, adding weight on top of it is akin to Atlas holding the world on his shoulders.

Weight gain is not the only epidemic we are facing as a country, bullying has increased dramatically in the last ten years, resulting in horrific events such as Columbine and other countless, needless deaths.

If you are struggling with your weight, and struggling with your sense of who you are, remember this.  You ARE more than a number on a scale.  Yes, some of us need to lose more weight than others to be considered healthy, but there is NOTHING more unhealthy than death.  So long as you are alive, you can CHANGE what is happening to you, you can CREATE your future, it isn’t written yet.  Once the final curtain is pulled however, that’s it, the end is the end and there’s no turning back.  Make it through the day, just the day, then tomorrow focus on then, not now, not a week from now.

“You might not think anyone is going to do it (suicide), but everybody is very capable of it. There are no warning signs, because I thought we had it under control. But, that wasn’t it,” – Tabatha Welsh, mother of Derrick Kester

If you feel like there’s no one who will listen to you and that you need someone who can relate, you can send me a comment through here and I’ll be happy to correspond via e-mail.  You can also contact 1-800-SUICIDE or through a website.  You ARE someone worth knowing, and someone worth fighting for, even if that fight may be against yourself or against faceless bullies.  Those bullies will grow into people, either still bullies or human beings ashamed of what they did in the past.  You can grow into something more.

With this somber post, I leave you with a video by Shinedown, titled appropriately: “Bully”

Calories, Carbs, Fat and weightloss … hmmm

So here is a second post in a single day, I feel like I’m overtaxing my poor brain, but this was just hijacked off of my other blog, so aside from the intro, it’s all the same.

One video stated that when you do aerobic exercise (meaning With air, you can breath mostly normally while doing this) you burn FAT first, and CARBS later (1-2 days later actually) and if you do anaerobic exercise (meaning Without air, like heavy lifting and sprinting so you’re gasping), you burn CARBS first, and FAT later.  Fat is like the savings account, it’s there, you can tap into when things get a little tight, but you don’t really “need” it right away.  Carbs are like checking, you hit that puppy up any time there is a sale at Macy’s.  Carbs are what provide the short term burst energy that keep us going when we suddenly start exerting ourselves, whereas fat is more conducive to a leisurely pace.  I walk, so I burn FAT more than CARBS.  You don’t just burn one or the other, it’s always a mix.

Today I learned that:

1 gram of carbohydrates = 4 calories

1 gram of fat = 9 calories

And I already knew that:

3500 calories = 1 pound


875 grams of carbohydrates = 1 pound

388 grams of fat = 1 pound

That’s a lot of things to burn, just saying, talkin’ 388 grams of fat? I don’t think I eat that much in a week, the carb thing though, that is making more sense with this Ideal Protein diet now (average carb consumption somewhere between 200-400g / day, we cut back to around 30g, you’re looking at a net loss of 170-370g / day, times 7 days, you’re looking at a minimum of 1 pound / week)

So today I walked, and will be mowing my lawn, for a total calorie loss of roughly 315 (maybe a bit more, maybe a bit less).  I took 315 and split it into a 70/30 (70% fat burned, 30% carbs burned, again, I was walking)  I know, math sucks, but in this case, it’s interesting.  So I “theoretically” burned about 24.5 grams of fat off today and 23 grams of carbohydrates off today.  I’m hoping that’s a start for getting caught up to yesterday’s “oops”